Parthenia Grant, PH.D.
Everybody gets a crazy text, email, or phone call from someone they thought they knew, that is based in utter lies or that twists the truth. In reality, it’s a set up designed to sucker you into accepting a false image of yourself based on someone else’s skewed perception of reality. Its intent is designed to make you feel small; to second guess reality; to bend to their will; to brow beat you into submission; to keep you co-dependent; or to punish you for opting out of any further dealings with them.
Your immediate reaction is to defend yourself by reiterating the truth to deflect the lie in the hopes that somehow this person, who has clearly allied him or herself with the lie, thereby surrendering all ability to reason or speak truth … will suddenly embrace the light of truth. As difficult as it is to hold your peace by not immediately giving this person a piece of your mind, I would urge you to consider the following approach:
Would it not be better to cut your losses and walk away without a word when dealing with someone who has lost touch with the reality of who you are, based on their own delusions and lies, or who never knew you to begin with? If you choose to enter into their altered state of mind, you will end up falling into a trap that feeds a need to get a negative reaction designed to distract THEM from their feelings of inadequacy, self loathing, anger or disappointment.
Your silence is FAR more productive than casting pearls of truth and wisdom on someone who has chosen to become a pig, wantonly wallowing in the rank, muddy waters of darkness. MIND YOU, I’m not talking about the sublime, triple fold darkness in the womb that gives birth to new life. I’m talking about the darkness that creates disease and death. That darkness draws you into a sick, tangled web of psychotic lies that fuel duality. Yeah, I know, you’re worried about what people will think of you when they hear lies being fabricated about you, right? Well, I’ve been there and done that and I can tell you that defending yourself against people of the lie only engages their madness and empowers them. The people who know and love you will laugh at the absurdity of false accusations while those who envy you will relish and repeat them; and those who lack critical thinking skills are naïve enough not to examine the motive behind slander.
Here’s the thing: Slander is an insidious form of passive aggressive behavior that “People of the Lie” (M. Scott Peck) engage in it with alacrity because it is so easy to get away with when dealing with a society that does not nurture real critical thinking or questioning authority figures. Liars and passive aggressive individuals are aware that most people do not question, fact check, nor examine the snare waiting behind a sociopath’s façade; the media; experts; or authority figures. Miserable or naïve individuals will grab hold of a lie with glee and run with it because they relish watching good people get knocked off of pedestals too high for them to climb up on. These attacks make their self loathing a little easier to bear because un-dealt with pain has turned them into creatures who covertly roll metaphorical boulders, or who laugh at water bombs being dropped on unsuspecting individuals from the tops of skyscrapers. Darkness feeds off of the trauma and shock created by covert attacks on the psyche of the innocent or unsuspecting.
Then, there are those passive aggressive people who revel in disappointing others by never keeping their word or by refusing to respect a humane request, even when it costs nothing, keeps the peace, or engenders goodwill. Sometimes, this is their way of punishing people for non-existent or non-intentional slights; or for saying no to an unreasonable or burdensome request.
Passive aggressive behavior is steeped in a sense of entitlement … a belief that the world owes you a free pass. Some act out their anger verbally, while others project their frustration, lack of compassion and inability to exhibit empathy on to others. Then there are those whose egos get off on talking big to hook others into dreams that are destined to fail because they are not grounded in truth, reality or perseverance and the necessary follow thru. Often the goal is to build up hopes in others so that the trickster can simply sit back and dance in the hurt and disappointment they create to quiet their own pain body, which shuts up while witnessing someone in more pain than they are in. Clearly, somebody deeply disappointed these individuals as children; or, they were a constant disappointment to others, and this is their way of getting back at those perceived to be the cause of their disappointment. Generating hope and dreams in others only to disappointment others by deliberately dashing those dreams to engender a sense of hopelessness elicits a sense of power by turning on the misery program in others. The demon of disappointment has killed more dreams than any knife, gun, or word spell.
This Demon of Disappointment also casts a gigantic, ominous shadow under streetlights during twilight. If you try to out walk the shadow, it only chases you, growing taller and more threatening as you move. You are faced with two options … either stay under the light or move into total darkness. It is in total darkness that the real demon inside reveals itself as un-met fears … your own aggression turned inward in the form of addiction to serial failure; addiction to denial and lack of insight into self; and addiction to one or more of the seven deadly sins: pride, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, sloth or wrath. King Solomon was right.
Everything you do in your fear-based ego is “vanity and a striving after the wind.” As long as you are controlled by any vain ego pursuit, you will never develop the focus, find the time, nor hone the skills necessary to develop the God given talents you came here to share with the world. As a professor, whom my students dubbed “The Ego Slapper,” what I know for sure is that ego driven individuals, addicted to any of the 7 Deadly Sins, readily fall prey to low self esteem, bullying, manipulation, mind control, shame, and blackmail. To free those who have had enough of being brow beaten by their own darkness, I created a course to assist such individuals in transcending their ego and stepping into their greater yet to become. Everyone 12 and older should be required to take a beginners course in ego management. Check out my beginners course in transcending the ego under Course in Singularity at www.doctorparthenia.com